Home and Familymakers face huge challenges and struggles (Part 1): Mona Mehra
The story I'm about to share changed my perspective on household work forever.
Once, a woman was asked, "What do you do at home all day?" Tears welled up in her eyes as she gazed at her worn hands, scarred from endless laundry, and her fingers marred by burns from preparing countless meals.
Her disheveled appearance bore the marks of tending to her four children and caring for her in-laws. She was utterly exhausted from managing the household, yet she was repeatedly met with disrespectful inquiries about her daily activities.
Frustration boiled within her until it erupted in screams directed at her children, domestic help, or even herself. In moments of sheer frustration, she'd bang her head, lamenting, "Why does no one recognize what I do at home as real work?"
Over time, her anger deepened, leading to depression, severe mental health issues, and a loss of self-confidence and self-worth. As she lay broken in a hospital bed, her final words were, "I don't want to live." She was my mother.
Growing up, I witnessed my mother and aunts being demeaned for their housework, prompting me to ponder why this labor went unnoticed. It's said that when you truly desire something, the universe conspires to make it happen. In 2007, I was faced with that question once more.
I had relocated from Delhi to Pune with my husband, transitioning from a joint family to a nuclear one. Initially, I relished the prospect of running my own household, having spent six years in a joint family where my in-laws handled everything. Grocery shopping, bills, cooking, laundry, cleaning, and caring for my daughter were responsibilities I had taken for granted. But the reality hit hard, and I realized that managing all of this was no small task.
While I soon secured a job and outsourced many tasks, I placed my three-year-old daughter in a daycare. However, a single incident altered our lives forever.
A decade later, my daughter revealed to me that she had been blamed for another child's injury at the daycare. Recalling that period, it became clear that she had developed an aversion to daycare and would cling to my legs, crying, "Mom, don't leave me; I don't want to go to daycare. Please don't leave me there."
Seeing her heart-wrenching distress, I sensed something was amiss. I took her to a doctor who diagnosed her with trauma, indicating she needed care. Faced with a choice between my job and my daughter, I chose my daughter. (Continued)
Mona Mehra is Founder, Vision Search, Head, Home & Social Affairs, Khushigram & also Editor at Radiance Media covering the domain.